Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Ceremony: the officiant and personal vows

Our wedding was officiated by the honorable James Ketcham. A retired East Hampton town justice, Judge Ketcham was recommended to us by Ginny at Gurney's, yet another spot-on suggestion. The Judge not only had great sincerity and delivery, but his wit and sense of humor really made it a special ceremony, very "us". If others might see this and be in need of a wedding officiant out on the east end, we highly recommend James Ketcham.
As part of the ceremony we were urged by the Judge and Ginny to exchange personal vows before the ring exchange. Afterward people mentioned how touched they were, how well written they thought the vows were, and asked if we could post them. Here they are. Alex began and Krissy followed.
"I'll always remember the night we first met and the excitement in the air. We didn't know what to expect but we brought an open mind, positive attitude, a sense of self, and left a little bit to chance. The corduroy hat, the bright red ponytail, that beautiful smile coming towards me, I could never forget that.

Right from the get-go we shared everything, openly, honestly, lovingly. We've shared with each other our pasts and how we got to who we are, we always cherish the time we spend together, and we've never hesitated to share our dreams and goals for the future.

I don't remember when we first began to finish each others sentences, or read each other's mind, but somewhere in there it happened. We realized our lives have changed, our love has changed, but that excitement it's always been just as strong as ever.

Krissy, you provide me with a calmness I don't know anywhere else. When I am with you I relax, slow down and enjoy life, live in the moment, and strive to make it the best moment possible. We adventure to uncharted territory, we eat well and remember to laugh often, we have a killer soundtrack playing at all times. We are in fact perfect complements to one another.

I promise to always be true to our sense of adventure, to challenging ourselves and each other to never sit idle but to create the best life possible. We will go far and at the end of the day I vow to provide a comfy home, a sacred space for us to reflect on the day, the good and the bad, and move forward to be excited about the days to come.

I am looking forward to sharing everything that we haven't realized yet. The schemes are going to be big and impressive and genius. From camping trips with the fam to surf trips in the tropics, from buying a home to building a home, to starting our family in that home, I vow to love you and be true through it all.

There is one song that has always made me think about this day, this love, and you. The part that always gets me goes like this...

Love me like a song
Sweet as a melody
Learn all the words to me
And sing along
Find the harmony
The rhythm and the rhyme to me
On and on, all night long
Love me like a song"

"What I remember most about the night we met is the big warm hug you gave me, like I was already an old friend, and something in me melted. I felt completely at ease with you. After that first night I kept trying to convince myself that I didn't really like you that much so that if things didn't work out it wouldn't matter. But the truth was, I liked you more and more every day and, even so early on in our relationship, I could no longer imagine my life without you being a part of it. And I guess fate was on my side because we became inseparable almost instantly and when, a few weeks later, you looked at me and said, "Maybe we should be an 'us'" I knew that something good was about to begin. And before long I fell in love. And it was wonderful.

I feel like we fell in love quietly, and honestly, and sincerely. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. There was no need for grand gestures or bold declarations because it was so true and so real. It was simple and easy. It was the two of us moving forward at the same pace intertwining our separate lives to create what has become one, very good life.

People have asked me what our secret is, how do we get along so well, and the best answer I can give them is that we balance each other. We don't strive for perfection but rather harmony. We are not two halves making a whole but two complete people whose edges seem to fit together seamlessly. We may not always see eye to eye, and we may get crabby when our bellies are empty but that's simply part of our life together, a small part that seems to pale in comparison to the fun that we have, the silliness that we find, and the love that we share.

I can't recall one specific moment when I knew that you were the man I was going to marry. I just know that at some point being without you was not an option anymore.

There is no one like you, Alex Feleppa. You are kind and warm, charming and loving. I know that you are exactly who I want to be with for the rest of my life and, as I always say, I know everything."

All photography by Rossa Cole, with All Rights Reserved (Copyright 2010).

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